The Cauldron

Oct. 7th, 2008 - According to the L.A. Times, belly-dancing pop starlet Shakira has made a bold and unprecedented move, declaring her endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama for President. Pundits expect this to give a sorelyneeded boost to the "Astonishingly Flexible Millionaire Vocalist" category, which Senator Kerry was never quite able to garner in 2004, and totally eluded Gore. This is indisputably a master stroke for a campaign that already boasts the support of such brilliant minds as Scarlett Johansson, Hulk Hogan, and half the cast of Ocean's Thirteen.

Not to be outdone, staffers from the John McCain camp are quick to point out country singers Gretchen Wilson and John Rich, both staunch McCain supporters. I'll avoid the obvious joke about the Republican Party embracing the support of 'Big and Rich', and instead point out that Tom Sellack has lent his mustachioed visage to McCain's cause.

Is Ralph Nader still relevant? Val Kilmer certainly thinks so - and Kilmer would know something about the constant struggle to remind people that yes, you are in fact still there.

Okay, this is all well and good, but seriously - what does any of it mean? For better or worse, we live in a world that is saturated with media imagery, and celebrity status gives people a massive audience for their every word. According to recent Gallup polls, Obama is ahead 60 percent to 35 percent with voters ages 18-29, whereas McCain has held a distinct advantage in the 65+ demographic, topping out at 47 percent to 39 percent in the first week of Aug. Take the rest of the polls, and after some mathematical gymnastics, we've got a pretty clear pattern of both candidates' demographic strengths.

Obama rates high among non-white racial and ethnic groups; people with postgraduate educations; people who are single; the aforementioned ages 18-29 group; women; low-income individuals; and with those for whom religion is less of a priority. McCain is strong with non-Hispanic whites; those who are married; that 65 and older crowd; white Protestants and non-Catholic Christians, and those to whom religion is more of a priority (Source: Gallup.com, Oct. 7).

What does this tell us?

Perhaps unsurprisingly, we like candidates who are somehow like us. So Obama gets Michael Jordan, (who, when approached by Jesse Helms' campaign in '99 famously rebuffed him, saying "Republicans buy Sneakers too") to finally throw his weight behind a candidate, as have LeBron James, Oprah, Russell Simmons, Pete Wentz, Moby, and Kanye West - who has presumably found a politician whom he feels 'cares about black people'. Let's see - younger, successful, charismatic, and yeah, a lot of them are minorities. I wonder how many of these guys could tell you the first thing about Obama's voting record, or what he plans to do about healthcare?

Not to be outdone, Rip Torn, Wilford Brimley (and his amazing Moustache. Moustaches for McCain!), Robert Duvall, Jon Voight, and Dick Van Patten have all thrown in with McCain, which could be about policies, leadership, etc… or it could be because they're all older than god and twice as wealthy.

And you know what? All of this is okay. Having strong opinions about politics is a good thing - it means that people are passionate about this election. But passion does not eloquence bequeath, and politics is a tricky, complex business. And celebrities are not necessarily going to be any better informed than the rest of us simply by virtue of a microphone being thrust in their face. At the end of the day, we owe it to ourselves to make an informed decision, based on facts - based on what's important to us. At the end of the day, a celebrity endorsement is good for exactly one vote, and nothing more.

Except for Shakira's - she's a Columbian citizen. Guess those hips don't vote, either.

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