The Cauldron

It's a struggle when you decide it is time to move in with or get a new place with your significant other.

Ok, so you love each other and you want to be with each other all the time. That's great. It's always nice to be in love and want to be closer to someone. But when you decide to move in together, some people don't realize just how close they are really going to be. Sometimes, it may be too close for comfort.

According to Dr. Ilene Krems, a licensed marriage and family therapist, one of the biggest problems with relationships in general is communication.

The website for Associated Content has an article written by S.E. Jones that consists of 10 tips for moving in together; they all pertain to communication issues.

If you want to set down rules, don't do it by yourself. Have a conversation with the person about boundaries and material possessions. Make sure that it is a collaborative effort and not just one sided.

Jones also talks about forgiving small mistakes, being kind and courteous, etc. But one of the big struggles skipped over is finances.

My boyfriend and I have been thinking about moving in together for some time now. We want to move in during winter break, but that all depends on finances. I only have a parttime on-campus job right now. Even though he has a full-time job, I'm still trying to spring for a second off-campus job for security.

The problem with that is I already have a pretty full schedule, and with the economy the way that it is, who knows if I can even find a second job at all. We may have to hold off longer because of this. And when we talk about it, the talks aren't always happy.

Moving in together is a really big step. You have to ask yourself if you are ready to really spend every night and day with this person. Of course you'll go to school and work, but at the end of the night, you are always going to come home to the same person. Is this ok with you?

I guess this kind of goes back to my previous issue about becoming an adult. If your maturity level is at the right point then maybe you are ready to make the transition. If not, maybe you should hold off for a while… finances or not.

When it comes to moving in together, you have to think of how the communication between you and your guy or girl is already. Do you fight a lot now? Can you speak freely now? If this is the case already, do you really think they would change after all of your stuff has been moved into a foreign place where you will have to be stuck together for seven days a week?

Another problem that some may face is what their parents will think. At first, my mother wasn't too keen on the idea. After awhile though, she came to realize that she couldn't stop me. She actually became excited for me.

Some parents may not like the idea of their child moving in with another person before marriage. Some people insist on moving in before marriage because they want to know what living with the person on a daily basis is really going to be like. I vote for moving in first, for that reason alone.

Moving in together isn't politics. There should really be no debate on it if you know in your heart that you are ready. And if things don't turn out like you want them to, have a back up plan.

Article Tools